![]() The "terrorists" are a laugh-out-loud riot, as they act "sadistic" and "psycho"! They must have trained all their lives for these roles! SKYSCRAPER proves that God loves schlock, for this is a truly religious experience! EXTRA POINTS FOR: All of the hilariously shameless DIE HARD lifts! BONUS POINTS FOR: Anyone who can figure out why they allowed Carrie's cop boyfriend to run around with his crotch ripped open during the finale (?)! EXTRA-BONUS POINTS FOR: Spotting that his pants are back together at the very end. Besides, whenever things get a bit dull, or overly idiotic, she sheds her clothes and all is forgotten. ![]() ![]() Smith is much better here than in TO THE LIMIT, as she appears to have a functioning brain in this movie. Watch, as she swings on a cable like Spiderman, crashing through a window like a beautiful bag of sand! Indeed, it's the fire-hose scene from that OTHER high-rise action film! Thankfully, there's the hairy muscleman, and lots of karate! And, lots of explosions! Ms. Yep, just like in DIE HARD, with Anna Nicole Smith as a platinum-haired Bruce Willis! How could this possibly fail? Under extreme stress, Carrie must stay one step ahead of these misbehaving miscreants, using her wits to outwit her witty adversaries. The thugs take over the building, even the electronics. Oh fudge! Carrie has to use the phone in the Zitex building. Shakespeare's thugs show up and start killing people. And likes it! Carrie has no idea what these guys are up to, as she rotors them around LA! Everyone winds up at the Zitex building. She's called upon to pick up a group, including that annoying, Shakespeare-spouting lunatic! We know he's a lunatic because he quotes Shakespeare. Several grimaces later, and Carrie is back in the air. Meanwhile, across town, Carrie takes a lovely slow-motion shower. Many explosions later, the briefcase guy is killed by an annoying man, waxing Shakespearean. Oh no! A group of terrorist-types opens fire, ruining the meeting! This group includes a long-haired muscleman from a romance novel. We know they're government agents because they're wearing sunglasses. ![]() Said mystery man meets with government agents. When Carrie drops off a mystery man with a briefcase, we know there's going to be trouble. Needless to say, it would be best not to waste your time on such crap.SKYSCRAPER stars the astonishing phenomenon known as Anna Nicole Smith! This time, she and her 3-inch nails are helicopter pilot Carrie Wisk. Skyscraper is a waste of everything that was put into it. Cardboard and spray paint are not expensive, and I can't imagine that the film's producers actually paid these people for such pathetic acting. ![]() Remember the control panel in the building that the bad guys were communicating with the police on? That's why the budget from Die Hard could be cut by 97%. Skyscraper (1996) is an action, thriller movie starring Anna Nicole Smith and Richard Steinmetz. It was so funny watching her complain to her husband in the movie about wanting to have a baby. This is not an action movie, it is a vehicle to further Smith's career, although with such a piece of garbage I can't imagine that her career was furthered rather than hindered. Take Die Hard, reduce the budget by about 97%, replace the director with someone who hails Andy Sidaris films as the greatest things in the world, and switch Bruce Willis for a big-breasted blonde with no acting ability whatsoever. What do you expect? Skyscraper is a pathetic attempt to turn Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith into some sort of action hero in the tradition of the historic Die Hard, and the end result is ridiculous. You have a cleavage-filled picture of Anna Nicole Smith wearing inch-long red nails and holding a gun. ![]()
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